Admin assistant Barbara Woods, 46, from Bradford-Next-The-Sea shocks co workers.

Elephant Juice have been given unprecedented access into the mind of a middle aged admin worker living in Bradford-Next-The-Sea originally from West Penge. Shocked co workers raised the alarm across social media when Barbara declared ‘I am not on a diet’. Barbara’s co worker Shirley said people thought she was joking at first, “I mean she had to be right?” Susan, (55) supervisor of the customer care advisory, help and assistance in time of need team, looked visibly shaken. “The thing is we are women and we work in an office, we all have to be on a diet. I think it is actually a law”.

While some were obviously very dismayed by Barbara’s outburst others were forming a queue of quiet praise. ‘Carol’ (not her real name) was keen to anonymously support her brave colleague. “It is about time someone stood up and said ‘Yes, we can eat the biscuits’, and we no longer need to pretend that cakes evaporate when exposed to a note saying ‘it’s my birthday please help yourselves’”

Following her unexpected announcement Barbara had spent the morning in the protective custody of her team leader’s office. When our reporter finally managed to speak to her she was upset but doing her best to come to terms with the recent events. “I don’t know what came over me” the 46 year old mother of two muttered. “I guess I just couldn’t go on living a lie, I had been thinking of telling the girls in the office this for months now, but I didn’t have the courage until today. Something just snapped, I couldn’t hold it in, and almost before I knew what happening there it was… out for all to hear, apparently Jean fainted, and I have no idea what Barry and the kids are going to say when I get home”.

Asked what she thought might happen next Barbara looked pained. “I wish I had thought it through, but I had turned down one chocolate hob nob too many. I had kept fruit in my drawer for months and even began to think that infusing a peach in a bottle of water was actually a good idea. I even kept copies of smoothie monthly on my desk. If I say so myself I was damn good, no one would have expected a thing. Admittedly I was six dress sizes smaller when I started here 12 months ago, but what better way to prove you are on a diet than by putting on weight”.