Bikes cycle through Yorkshire

This summer residents of Yorkshire will be witness to hundreds of men on bikes cycling. The Grand Départ, or ‘The Start’ as locals have affectionately coined, it will take place on July 5th. Elephant Juice’s sports correspondent has been visiting Yorkshire towns and villages to hear what people really think of this cycling spectacular.

Residents of Howarth are particularly excited to be hosting a leg of the race but many feel that it should have been renamed. “I don’t know what was wrong with The Tour De Bronte” said parish councillor, Branwell Jones. “Everything is Bronte round here. Always has been, always should be. I don’t even know who the France family are.”

When asked whether she felt excited about the Tour coming to her village, shop owner Gloria Murgatroyd said “aye, ‘appen I am.”

Extensive work has been carried out so that the lycra clad racers do not fall foul of the old fashioned cobbled streets. “It’s great,” said a local resident and author who did not wish to be named. “Literally everything has been concreted over. They did it in Penge and have never looked back.”

The Yorkshire section of the race has had some significant celebrity support. Sir Harry Gration, local news presenter and jewel in Yorkshire’s crown said, “I am so thrilled that this is happening. I have been cycling on bikes for 150 years now, and think that something like this could encourage lots of other people to cycle on bikes too.”

Not everyone is as excited about the race as Gloria Murgatroyd though. Some shop owners are concerned that the extra visitors could bring unwelcome trade. Patrick Keighley, owner of The Bronte Emporium is worried. “I don’t know how we will manage,” he exclaimed. “My shop is already open from 11am-1pm twice a week. I don’t think we could cope with extending the opening hours any further.”

Local school children have been drafted in to help on the big day, and will line the streets throwing Yorkshire puddings or (Le Yorkshire Pudding as it has been renamed by the Yorkshire Council) at the participants to help keep their strength up. The original idea to pour tea over the cyclists at the top of Main Street was cancelled after health and safety concerns were raised at the last Parish Council meeting. Councillor Charlotte Bell said, “It seemed like a good idea when we first came up with it, but then the safety risks were raised and we just couldn’t ignore them. To pour that amount of celebratory tea over the participants would require more than one urn to be heated at once and we just couldn’t guarantee enough supervision. We have decided instead to give each racer a bottle of rhubarb wine. The French like wine and let’s face it they might need it, they have to cycle through Holmfirth after this.”