Yesterday, the world’s leading Gay revealed information that has sent shock waves through the straight community.
No, Kylie, No
Carl Crispin, Gay representative and author of ‘No Kylie, No’ and ‘Princess Diana Who?’ made the announcement in a very serious voice. “I think it is about time we were clear about this”, he told the expectant crowd at a gay gathering of gays in Stoke Poges. “We like black and white, and hard lines. I have no soft furnishings in my house at all, and neither do my very gay friends. We abhor colours, particularly rainbow ones.”
Gary (46) and the UK’s foremost straight man was first to publicly respond to this shocking news. “We thought we had just started to understand the Gays, and then something like this happens. What you have to realise is that for 30 years we thought there was only one gay, you know, the one that Sting wrote a song about. Anyway, having dealt with that, we now to contend with this. I said to my friend Dorothy last night, I don’t know where this will end.”
Straight Community Shocked To Learn Gays Don’t Love Rainbows
Asked if rainbows were the only thing to be ousted by the Gay community, Dr Quentin Boothby (55) and the country’s expert on Gays in their natural habitat said “I think this is just the thin end of the wedge. I heard this morning that the Judy Garland appreciation society’s share prices have plummeted.”
Gary added, “Look, I like gays, but they are changing the goalposts, in a manner of speaking, not that they play football, obviously. That would be wrong. We (the straight people) are just getting confused now. Do they like Musicals or not?”
Asked if he wished to make a statement regarding the breaking news from the Penge Times that not all black men are good dancers, Gary responded with “no comment”.
