Category Archives: Politics

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Today in Wetsminster

Incarceration Tsar Gray Quisling told Parliament today that after a visit to Australia’s prison centre of excellence, Cell Block H that he was to institute a book ban for all naughty people.

Prison Officer

I’d throw the book at you, sonny Jim.

Struggling to be heard over the cheers as the awards for Eton’s top 100 FAG Masters were read out at the opposite end of the chamber, the enslavement expert continued undeterred. He informed the MPS that two people, Mr and Mrs Teddington, had attended his surgery in Penge over the past year and they were very concerned that some bad people were learning information. “You can’t ignore that kind of concern.” he stated. “This is why I have put into place a ban on any bad person in all the United Britain’s jails from being able to read words.”
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UKIP proposes twinning Stoke Poges with Penge

Nicholas Forage UKIP ambassador was at the centre of a media storm last night when he suggested that Stoke Poges should be twinned with Penge.

roadsign

UKIP propose twinning Stoke Poges with Penge

Twinning usually takes place between towns from different countries but this is something Forage thinks Britain should change. Forage, ‘politician’ and resident of Upper Penge, was making his annual address to party stalwarts at the UKIP conference held each year in Little Germany, Bradford. The announcement was no real surprise to the party faithful, who have long been aware of Forage’s deep love for his hometown and almost unhealthy attraction to Stoke Poges.
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Bingoing Crazy In T’North

For many years the only available entertainment available to the working classes has been under threat.

bingo dabber

A Typical Bingo Dabber

Recently however, the government have rescued the past time that Northerners and poor people call Bingo. The Elephant Juice editorial team have been finding out what the impact of the rescue in conjunction with the reduction of a price of a pint (the Working class national drink) has actually meant on the ground.
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